Unrequited Love

This is from one of the blogs that I actually read (The Bamboo Stick):

"So, yesterday, when I was feeling so pissy, I went to YouTube and started to watch clips of Les Miserables, the musical based on Victor Hugo's novel. I love this musical. Of all the musicals I have seen, this one is still my favorite...the song I related to the most was Eponine's On my own. What girl/woman who's ever dealt with unrequited love CAN'T relate to this song?

And now I'm all alone again
No where to turn, no one to go to.
Without a home, without a friend
Without a face to say hello to.
But now the night is near
And I can make believe
He's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping.
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head.

On my own
Pretending he's beside me.
All alone
I walk with him 'til morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes
And he has found me.

In the rain,
The pavement shines like silver.
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness
The trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me
Forever and forever

And I know
It's only in my mind.
That I'm talking to myself and not to him.
And although
I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us.

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river.
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare
And everywhere, the streets are full of strangers.

I love him
But everyday, I'm learning
All my life, I've only been pretending.
Without me, his world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known!

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only
On my own "

This really made me think. I have found myself falling for a man who is just wonderful.

His eyes are as blue as the ocean shining in the sun, the hues changing according to his mood but the best color being that light shade of blue as he stares into my eyes and says oh so much without uttering a word. His values, morals, and character are what make him desirable. Yes, he is also a beautiful specimen of a man but what captures my heart is his soul.

Yeah, a bit cheesy, but this is true. To tell you the truth, this doesn't cover the true depth of my feelings for him. This is the first time in my life where I find myself fighting the feelings. Sure, I can express them now, but the truth is I have fought this to the core of my being from the very beginning.

I don't know where I'm going with this...

Oh, yeah, my fear is that even as he is coping with his life and learning how to live once more - that when his healing is complete he will not choose me to be a part of his life romantically, that is. My fear is that I will always remain the friend and confidant but never become his lover and life partner. There. I wrote it.

Well, thank goodness I have work and school to keep me occupied. Until later.