Perspective

Here's another Tut tidbit:

When you realize that by changing your perspective, big things can be seen as little things it becomes much harder to worry about anything.
Funky cold medina,
The Universe

Yep, this is true and we all know it but for one reason or another we always tend to forget this when we're right in the middle of it, at least I do. Well, until someone or something starts thrashing this against our heads as a little wake-up call to come back to reality.

Case in point: My belief that I need a man in my life to fill that void within my soul. My craving for a soul connection with a man to make my life have more meaning.

Yesterday a friend of mine pointed out that I was a much stronger woman than I give myself credit for and that my need for this 'God-hole' to be filled by a man could be more damaging than good. Hmm... am I writing this down right?

Basically, my fixation/codependency/life has no meaning without Mr. Blue Eyes is really a distraction on my part so that I won't have to deal with life without those rose-coloured glasses. To look at reality and to realize how far I have really come is a bit scary because then I'm left with all this growth and suddenly become afraid of what's to come. Does that make any sense?

What I'm trying to say is that if I actually take credit for my advancements then that means that I'll have to keep going forward and there will no longer be a reason for me to stay in my 'oh poor me' role. Which means that I will actually move into the role of a strong independent woman.

Sure, I can say that I am a strong woman time and time again, but to actually believe it is another thing altogether. To actually have proof of this and to realize that with program and HP I've actually been able to move forward and be more productive in my life than I ever imagined is truly a shocker to me.

Ugh! Why is this so hard?!? I know, it's because of what my mother told me time and again while I was growing up. That I didn't amount to anything, was mediocre, stupid...yadayadayada...

Well, I'm at a juncture in my life where I don't have to live in the shadow of what she told me. I can now move forward. And that totally freaks me out!

So, as of last night I am trying my darndest to focus on HP and not Mr. Blue Eyes. I am trying to move ahead by being in the moment and to honour me by doing what I need to in order to live the life that I know I deserve.

Yes, moment by moment, minute by minute I stay in the solution thus moving away from the old ways of thinking. I have a friend coming to visit me this weekend and I get to spend Mother's day with an adoptive mother of mine. Oh, yes, life is worth living now. As long as I keep my focus on HP I know I'll be taken care of.

Oh, goodness. Act as if. Change Perspective.