Audrey and Growing Up

One of the things that I was reminded of recently was how good a role model Audrey Hepburn is.

Sure she may have passed on but she definitely left a mark and the quotes she has bestowed the world with are definitely for all women, young and old, to take to heart and live by.

That’s one of the great things that all those sites on the net are teaching me. There’s so much wisdom out there along with all of the stupid/silly stuff but in the end all of it calls to a certain part of my personality and helps it grow.

What I’m trying to say is that with all of my yearning to learn and evolve I’m forgetting to live in the moment. There’s a big part of me that’s still stuck on the wishing, dreaming, and longing.

I guess after being ‘on pause’ for so long and occasionally taking a peak around me to see how others are living their lives to only go back to ignoring everything and continuing the cycle of yearning that I’ve lost the basic tools in recognizing the beauty of just Being and actually Living life to the fullest.

But I’m pretty good at faking it right now. So far one of the main things that I’ve noticed is how quick my days are going by now. Amazing how now I realize there are all these neat things to do outside in the real world my time goes by that much more quickly while before it was full of moping and doing absolutely anything while wishing for an escape in what was most definitely not conducive to a healthy, productive, and fulfilling life.

There’s a part of me that still finds this new track of life (supposedly) a bit pointless and frightful while this other part that’s slowly becoming bigger than the other is filling me once more with Hope. And for Hope to bloom I need Faith.

See, there’s this hunger that’s never been satiated. I’ve always felt that in order to survive I had to hide an important, very intrinsic, part of myself from everyone so that I won’t lose it. Funny thing is that in doing this, although I felt it was completely logical at the time, has really been detrimental to my growth in becoming the woman I was meant to be.

This part is so simple and has been glimpsed upon occasion but has never been let out to bask in the sunshine so it could prosper. It’s simply my need for adventure.

A big part of me realizes that no matter how much I try to learn anything and everything it will never happen but the journey can be FUN because it’s up to me to decide what to learn and experience. Yeah.

I can keep going on and on with this topic but the truth of the matter is that the best way to enjoy this experience without making it more complicated than it is, because once I do that the fear creeps out of nowhere enveloping me in its old familiarity as if it’s my dear friend when it truly isn’t, is to simply enjoy the moment by being completely present.

Maybe someday I can look back at my life and realize that the past 15 years of my life where I was depressed was really just a cleansing of the soul preparing me for the next 30+ years of amazing tales.

Good thing I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason.

~Found the pics at vi.sualize.us~